Cool Beans SF

Growing up, I was always told that I should not accept second best in life. We only have one shot at life, as far as we know at present, therefore you need to make the most of it. This article talks about this subject.

At the age of around twelve, I was bought a five foot snooker table for my birthday. This was something I had wanted for quite a long time and I have to say, it is probably the best present I was ever bought and I quickly became hooked on playing the game.

I would play snooker, either with friends or on my own, I did not care. My dream was to be the next Steve Davis, however I was aware that the chances of this happening were extremely slight.

Around six months later, I joined a local snooker hall with three of my friends, this is where we could play on full size tables. The sheer size of the tables came as quite a shock and at the start it was difficult to pot even what should have been the simple shots. The table was twelve foot by six foot which was more than twice the size of my table at home.

We started to play every week. We were very impressed with the club and found out that it offered free coaching for children under the age of sixteen on a Saturday morning. The coach who was called Glen and who was aged around thirty at the time asked us if we would like to attend. He was a larger than life character and a very good snooker player. We all decided to turn up on the next Saturday, it was free after all. There were snooker tournaments every month as well as coaching and they gave us free drinks and toast.

The first aim of all of the people who played on the Saturday morning was to score a twenty break as not one of us had ever had a twenty break. I was extremely determined that it would be me and listened carefully to what I was being taught and tried hard to implement it into my game.

My progress was quite rapid and to my amazement I was the first person to score that elusive twenty break. People around the snooker table I was playing on started to applaud and I was walking around with a beaming smile on my face. I felt on top of the world.

Glen who was on the other side of the room wondered over to find out what all of the noise was about. I thought he would be so proud of me and happy at my achievement, however he stated that if I could score twenty, I could score thirty. He told me to stop messing about and smiling, and to re-concentrate on the job in hand.

I had been brought straight back down to earth and was a bit gutted to say the least. This lesson was a very good one for me to learn at such an early age and I eventually went on to have breaks of over one hundred.

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Goals - we have a love-hate relationship with goals. We love them because they are such a great idea and are a superb way to motivate us to achieve and then to evaluate our progress; but we hate them, because for much of the time, they go unattained and simply frustrate us. This isn’t what goals should do!

Having been a Life Coach for many years now I would like to suggest some straightforward and practical techniques on how you can set goals you can achieve! After all, what good is a goal if it isn’t something you can achieve?

• Life Coaching tip no 1 - You have to want it!

Firstly - do not bother to set goals for things you don’t really want. For example: if your partner says they want you to quit smoking or lose weight but you do not want to, why even bother setting this as a goal. If your goal(s) are not something you personally want to accomplish, and they are not relevant to you, you are unlikely to succeed - because deep down you don’t really want to.

State your goals in a positive way - a goal should always be something you want to have, or change. Not things you or someone else think you should.

Always ask yourself on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being totally committed and 1 being zero commitment. How committed are you to reaching your goal? If it is less than 8, you might want to reconsider the goal.

• Life Coaching tip no 2 - Focus

Start small. Pick two or three areas that you want to work on. Too many people say to themselves, “I want to do this, and this, and this, and this……” and they end up achieving nothing! Most of what you do throughout your day can be done without a lot of mental effort, but change isn’t one of them. So try to keep your focus down to a couple of things. This way you can get success in your identified areas. Here are some aspects of your life you might like to think about: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, Spiritual, Financial, and Relationships. Now, which is the first thing on your list? The others can follow later, but for now, you should focus on two or three, no more.

• Life Coaching tip no 3 - Goals - the long and the short

So you want to lose 50 pounds? Good. Long-term you will. But for now, think short-term. Don’t think about losing 50 pounds by February. Think about losing 10 pounds by October 1st.

This does two things. First, it makes it pressing and urgent. Instead of saying, “I still have 6 months to lose the 50 pounds” (6 months quickly disappears into 2 months, into one month - with the 50 pounds still securely in place!) your first goal is only a few weeks away, so you have to get started. This is far more successful in terms of reaching your goal. Secondly, as you reach these smaller goals (your mini-milestones!), you achieve a success, which gives you regular motivation and encouragement to keep going.

• Life Coaching tip no 4 - Make it manageable

Instead of saying, “I am going to quit my 20 smoking a day habit straight off” change this to: “I am going to smoke no more than 15 a day for a week, then 10 the next week and so on.” Give yourself small victories a little at a time. It is far easier to accomplish many smaller goals that make up a large goal - rather than trying for the large goal straight off!

• Life Coaching tip no 5 - Reward yourself along the way

When you lose the 10 pounds by October 1st, go and order yourself large mocha with cream from Costa’s (just the one though!), then get back to your goal for November 1st. This puts a little fun back into the process of self-control and self-discipline. You will look forward to and enjoy the reward and when the going gets tough, you will say things like, “two weeks to go, and only two more pounds to lose” etc - I can do it, then I can enjoy my mocha guilt free!

• Life Coaching tip no 6 - Be specific with your timeline

Don’t just say, “I am going to lose 10 pounds.” Say, “I am going to lose 10 pounds by December 1st.” This way, when you start being tempted into Thornton’s Chocolates in the middle of November - under the guise of buying early Christmas presents for other people, you can say, “No way, only 5 more pounds to go in three weeks and I am not going to blow it now.”

• Life Coaching tip no 7 - Post it where you can see it

Keep your goal in the front of your mind at all times. Instead of allowing yourself to ‘forget’ that you are trying to lose weight by ordering a big slice of cheesecake, your visual reminder will help you to choose something a little on the lighter side but at the same time keeping on track - having your cake and eating it! This will help you beat your desire and stay focused.

Post your goal anywhere you will see it regularly, like maybe the fridge or a mirror, on your wardrobe door - you know where is best, you must be able to see it regularly throughout the day.

• Life Coaching tip no 8 - Encourage, respect, and accountability

Explain to a friend or family member what your goal is, including the timeframe, so they can help you with it.
This person should regularly ask you, how you are doing etc? They should hold you accountable, but at the same time keep you motivated and encouraged. Obviously they must be the encouraging type! (If not, ask someone else who is) If you are blowing it, they can tell you so, but at the same time gee you up and say things like “Well, that’s okay, it’s done now, don’t sweat it, just get back to it tomorrow.” If you are doing well, they can say, “excellent, well done etc” and make you feel great.

• Life Coaching tip no 9 - Write (and then reap) the benefits

If you are trying to lose weight your benefits might look something like this: Feel better, better self-esteem, longer life, clothes are more comfortable, a bigger choice of clothes shops to shop it, your husband says you look 25 again and so on. For quitting smoking, it may look like this: Fresher breath, no more brown fingers, less wrinkles on my face, no more red eyes, no more smelly clothes, longer life, and the wife won’t make me spend two hours a day on the back porch in the pouring rain anymore! By making a list you will be able to you see what you will benefit from accomplishing your goal.

Again it is a good idea once you have thought of these benefits to write them down with your goal (On the fridge, mirror etc) so that when you review your goal everyday, you’ll also see the benefits to achieving it.

• Life Coaching tip no 10 - You have succeeded - reward yourself!

This can be anything - large or small. If you dropped the fifty pounds, really treat yourself, plan to go out and buy yourself that size 12 dress you have always longed for - and then wear it with pride.

Make a deal with a partner or friend that if you reach your goal they will take you out for a meal or and spoil you.
Whatever it is you plan, make it personal, enjoyable and desirable to you, so you will look forward to it.

Do not miss this part out - it is one of the most important bits. It will help to keep you motivated when you’re struggling and give you something enjoyable to aim for.

Make sure you reward yourself for all your hard work!

Remember folks - goals aren’t just for footballers! They are for us real people too!

Rich is a full-time freelance Life Coach from the UK. For more information check out his Life Coaching website http://www.startliving.org.uk or alternatively take a look at his Life Coaching Blog at http://www.startliving.org.uk/blogger.html.

Are you wonder how you are going to be able to make some extra money for your household? Thanks to the internet, that no longer has to be a problem. Because of the internet, you are now able to take surveys for money without leaving your own home. Getting Paypal Paid Surveys is simple. Just go to Google search and start signing up as writer/ blogger, read on more about Paypal Paid Surveys. Either way your ability to take surveys for money can help you. Also see Get Paid For Taking Surveys. These surveys help them better understand how to make an existing product better without having to research design produce and advertise without entirely knowing how well it will be received.

Yes you can! It only takes a short time to register and answer some simple personal preference questions and you are ready to begin. You simply click a mouse and sign your name in order to start making the money online from the comfort of your own home, when you get ready to do so. You can find the survey links in your inbox. You can make approximately 10 to 40 dollars for only 15 to 20 minutes time. You can do this at home while watching television, listening to the radio and keeping an eye on the kids if you need too. Read on to find out more about Paypal Paid Surveys. This is possible because many companies out there will pay for your opinion. Find out more about Paypal Paid Surveys and Get Paid For Taking Surveys. Then there are the surveys that you will be asked to partake in that you may not never even qualify for because you never appeal to the so called target group of the survey.
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When the earth just shakes a little, thousands suffer and die. The first sound is a cry. The last breath makes many cry. Along the way, many tears and fears. Human life in this world is like suddenly waking up, all life is born; suddenly slipping off, all silent creep in. With: one change, one is born; with another change, one dies. Living creatures moan, and mankind weeps. The sufferings of mankind are so innumerable as to be unimaginable, changing from place to place and from time to time. They cannot be all listed, but let us just roughly mention the major ones that are readily apparent:

a]Seven sufferings from living: 1]rebirth 2]premature death 3]physical debilities 4]being a barbarian 5]living in frontier areas (on the fringe of civilization) 6]being a slave and 7]being a woman (woman has more sufferings than man and lesser in spiritual cultivation than man by 500 years according to Heaven).

b]Eight sufferings from natural calamities: 1]famines resulting from floods or droughts 2]plagues of locusts 3]fire 4]flood 5]volcanic eruptions (including earthquakes and landslides) 6]collapse of buildings 7]shipwrecks (including collisions of cars) and 8]epidermics.

c]Five sufferings from conditions of life: 1]being a widow or widower 2]being an orphan or childless 3]being ill without medical care 4]being poor and 5]being humble in social station.

d]Eight sufferings from human feelings: 1]stupidity 2]hatred 3]sexual love 4]burden imposed by others 5]toil 6]desires 7]oppression and 8]distinction.

e]Four sufferings from being objects of honor and esteem: 1]a rich man 2]a man of high station 3]a man of longevity and 4]a king or emperor.

In the unseen plane, the degree and form of punishment one receives in Hell and the subsequent channelling into one of the six forms of reincarnation is determined by one’s own deeds in the last life. These sufferings are not visible to the eyes. The average age of human life no matter rich or poor is only about eighty years. The miserable lives of the other four forms are also short, with butterfly at the bottom of the list whose age is about a day or two. The cycle of change in the wheel of six paths of reincarnation shall go on indefinitely, with the spirits being transfer from one realm to another depending on the order of merits done, unless the cycle is ceased or one knows how to transcend this cycle of birth, death and rebirth.

Therefore, life and death is not a pleasant thing and the world is not a good place to live in. King Xuan said, “I do not wish to be born but suddenly I was born; I do not wish to die but suddenly I was died.” The world is like a “live hades” and in the “real hades,” it is a “dead world.” So, life is like a “come again” to live in a world of suffering.

All living beings in the world only aim at seeking happiness and avoiding suffering. They follow no other course if they are not spiritual. Some take a roundabout, some zig-zag, some expedient way and some going through painful experiences without getting tired. Although men differ in their nature, we can safely say that the way of mankind is never to seek sufferings and avoid happiness. Gautama Buddha (Prince Siddharta) was deeply disturbed and filled with compassion when he saw the first four suffering sights outside the palace; birth, old age, sickness and death. He decided then to go out into the world to look for the Truth to end the suffering and this is what he said;

“Having been born in an age of disorder, and seeing with my own eyes the path of suffering in the world, I wish to find a way to save it. I have thought deeply and believe the only way is to practise the way of Great Unity and Great Peace. Looking over all means in the world, I believe that aside from the Way of Great Unity there is no other method to save living men from their sufferings or to seek their great happiness. The way of Great Unity is perfect equality, perfect impartiality and perfect humanity.”

Author: T.A Chew

T.A Chew while practising Buddhism in 1993, had read more than 50 Buddhist books written by many wise monks and renouncers. The very basic is life is suffering and the first precept of the teachings of Buddhism. With this understanding and able to accept and live with it, itself makes life better. Website: http://www.white-sun.com

Researchers are seeking to identify how dolphins communicate. Unfortunately it is like ancient history, once we can decipher the basic ‘words’ we think we have the message. However, ancient civilizations left us artifacts, buildings, religious and other rituals of life to enable us to deduce more meaning from what was written.

Dolphins by comparison live without possessions. All we have to study are their activities and sounds.

Much of the research that we know about dolphins is done on captive dolphins in small holding ponds. Noted researcher Liz Hawkins, recently on ABC TV Australia, has shown that dolphins modify their sound frequency in small ponds.

Low frequency sounds travel long distances underwater and can reflect off the sides of the tanks many times, actually causing hearing damage. Consequently, the dolphins ‘change their tune’ and do more high frequency sounds, out of our auditory range! She showed the same to be true in large bays where boating activities are high.

In comparison with this objective information, many of us have had subjective experiences of dolphins. These have so much in common, regardless of race, culture or physical capability. Dolphins communicate with us through feelings, intellect and acoustic imagery. The result is that people experience a lightness: perhaps joy; an openheartedness, perhaps love and a playfulness that is infectious.

All great leaders/ healers infect us with their qualities and we seek to be like them, even when they are not there. Aren’t dolphins doing something similar when they infect us with openhearted love, joy and playfulness? We certainly remember our experience long after the event and seek to repeat it in other parts of our lives. Is this not a form of leadership?

Use the strength of your subjective experiences with dolphins, real or imagined. It is a powerful force for infectious healing. Place it within your dolphin figurine and adopt your affirmation with vigor and enjoy new energy and opportunity!

This article may be reproduced in printed or web format, provided the resource box below is included.

Rosemary has an e store with dolphin gifts and affirmations. She and her husband are seeking to expand the experiences of others to include the personally experienced qualities we associate with dolphins.
http://www.dolphinsalive.com

A psychic reading is a consultation with a psychic: someone who is sensitive to the electrical, magnetic and other energies radiating from the seeker and collectively referred to as the ‘aura’. The psychic is thus able to access information from the emotional, physical and spiritual parts of the ‘auric’ field. As the aura contains an insight into the seeker’s past, present and future, psychic readings can be very accurate. Additionally, a psychic also enhances the reading by using his natural ability to tune into the seeker’s non-verbal communication i.e. body language and facial expressions.

Just wanting information about the future at large is an ambiguous objective and the reading will be of no value. A seeker must assess what he expects from the consultation and determine the scope of the reading. It could be his career, relationship, marriage or health - but it must be focused. When a seeker intends to gain clarity, insight and direction on a specific issue, the process of psychic reading becomes sanctified. A significant advantage of a psychic reading is receiving accurate answers, which will then empower the seeker to make choices that will enhance his future; yet they often overlook the fact that to receive precise answers, it is imperative to ask focused questions.

Going to a good psychic reader is imperative as great care is required on behalf of the psychic during readings; some people seeking help can be very vulnerable and a psychic can subconsciously calculate probable future events by an evaluation of the information available and end up giving likely forecasts. It should be noted in particular that a psychic reader is able to sense things on a material level and cannot tune in to the spirit world, as is the general misconception.

Psychic Readings provides detailed information on Accurate Psychic Readings, Inspirational Psychic Readings, Live Psychic Readings, Psychic Palm Readings and more. Psychic Readings is affiliated with Famous Psychic Mediums.

Walking is the easiest and the most effective form of exercise compared to the other exercises like weight lifting, swimming etc. Walking is a natural activity and it requires no location or schedule.

But before getting used to this program you must set a timetable so that you continue it during the long run. Many a times the schedule is disturbed because you try to commit yourself towards other work. Strictly note down an agenda and regularly go according to it. Walking is indeed the most reasonable form of program, which requires no investment. If you feel bored then you can walk with headphone and listen to some of the refreshing music.

Try to increase the walking time gradually. Start off for 10 minutes first; then slowly try to walk for around 20 minutes and increase the time gradually every week.

Along with the number of workouts you perform, it is also essential to maintain a regular and healthy eating habit. Three weeks after following a routine walking regimen, engage in dynamic activities like trekking, climbing hills etc. also keep on observing your weight through the meter. In this way you can get an idea to achieve a determined target.

There are a number of health benefits that you can derive from exercises such as weight reduction, stress reduction, mental alertness, increase in stamina etc. Exercise also keeps away diseases at bay.

Before beginning an exercise program you must consult a physician first.

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You are welcome to republish the above article only if you add our hyperlinked URL.

A lot of the merchant banks wil show you a rate that is looking good but doesn’t feel good or so after a while. 13.8 percent loan rate may seem so reasonable but will that be unvaried after you’re going to return your deferred payment. You should be fresh today to check up if you have a nice special offer or if you don’t with the merchant bank that offers you a money loan. A moneylender in Norfolk Virginia or so may have a total different actual interest rate for a 10000 dollar loan then a bank in Flint Michigan and that makes a vast clear gap in your weekly costs. It makes no difference if you live in Bayonne New Jersey or in Newport Beach California a secure online examination will economize you often a lot of disorder.

Translated in Dutch is says: Woon je in Mill en Sint Hubert of Winterswijk en hebt u BKR codering. Lenen met BKR is nog nooit zo eenvoudig geweest. Koop een nieuwe woning met 10 minuten mini krediet, 483632 euro is altijd mogelijk om te lenen. Van Goes tot Wierden, geld lenen met zonder BKR registratie is hier geen enkel probleem.

This is why now you really need to check into and ascertain if you can have a loan at a right percent loan rate. Check out to see if the moneylender who wants to give you a bank loan is good. At present you can check out rates quickly on the internet and interpret if there are possible sneaky traps you should know about.

Direct Answers - Column for the week of August 4, 2003

I dated a woman I work with for four years. In both our minds we were soul mates. A year and a half ago she broke it off. I never found out the real reasons.

After we broke up she would still tell me she loved me and we were soul mates. Of course at the same time she was dating another man, a married man. But it’s worse than that. In college this guy stalked her–her words, not mine. Now, of course, she’ll claim he was “just observing me.”

She is still dating him. He is still married. He lives a few hours drive away so it’s easy for him to hide the fact he hasn’t filed divorce papers yet. In fact, I know he and his wife just refinanced their house, yet my girlfriend is convinced he’ll marry her one day.

But wait, there’s more. To this day she asks me to lunch every day, calls me “babe,” touches me affectionately, and talks about vacations together. When I’m on travel, she calls once or twice a day. At her request, we’re seeing a therapist to resolve our trust issues, but not to reconcile.

It’s difficult to say my hands are clean here, but I am truly concerned. Everything I’ve read suggests there is nothing but pain and heartache down the road for her, and I’ve worked hard to change my shortcomings through therapy, reading, and action.

If things were right, I would like to begin anew with her. I’ve tried the approach of moving on and seeing other women. She knows enough to be jealous of these women, but it has no effect. How do I approach it without blowing my chances?

Dieter

Dieter, a few years ago when we were guests on a radio call-in show in Los Angeles, a man called and asked what to do about his soul mate. He knew she was having an affair, he said, because he had hired a private detective who found the evidence.

If what you and that man have is a soul mate, what do you call a couple who love each other to the exclusion of all others?

What you really have is a woman who finds some benefit in letting you fantasize about her while she tries to land another man. You are not ready to accept our answer, but what you have is more like an addiction.

The only cure for an addiction is to remove yourself from both the substance you are addicted to and the environment in which your addiction flourishes.

Wayne & Tamara

Parenthood

Recently my wife announced it was time for us to “make a decision about having a baby.” This announcement blind-sided me, because I have always been perfectly clear on this matter. I only want kids if they are sautéed correctly.

All my friends and all my relatives know my aversion to children. The reasons behind my feelings are varied, but this has never been a gray area for me. My wife, on the other hand, says that “my future involves having a family,” implying in no uncertain terms that she is going to have children with or without me.

This seems to be an irreconcilable situation. What are your thoughts?

Chad

Chad, not everyone makes a good parent. People like you, who recognize this early on, shouldn’t have children. You made it perfectly clear before the wedding, and you thought she accepted this fact.

Your wife has a right to have children, but not with a man she knew never wanted to be a parent. Your dark humor expresses the seriousness of your convictions. Since you know you do not want children, it is your responsibility to make sure you don’t father a child.

Your wife is right that it is time to make a decision, but the issue is your future together.

Wayne & Tamara

About The Author

Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com.

Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.

“Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you” (Colossians 3:13).

In his remarkable book, The Sermon on the Mount, Dr. Emmet Fox deals with our forgiving those who hurt us. In the chapter, Resist Not Evil, he states, “…When someone injures you, instead of seeking to get your own back or to repay him in his own coin, you are to do the very opposite–you are to forgive him, and set him free. No matter what the provocation may be, and no matter how many times it is repeated, you are to do this. You are to loose him and let him go, for thus only can you be freed yourself–thus only can you possess your own soul. To return evil for evil, to answer violence with violence and hate with hate, is to start a vicious circle to which there is no ending but the wearing out of your own life and your brother’s, too. Antagonize any situation, and you give it power against yourself; offer mental non-resistance, and it crumbles away in front of you.”

Dr. Fox points out that “the mere rehearsing in thought of any difficulty endows it with new life. Going over old grievances mentally; thinking how badly someone acted at some time, for instance, and recalling the details, has the effect of revivifying that which was quietly expiring of neglect.”

By mentally resisting what we feel is a bad circumstance, we give it power and life and, in the process, deplete our own spiritual energies and, perhaps, even our physical stamina. Resentment fosters self-pity which fosters inability to act and react in a Christ-like way. In our anger and frustration, we also are tempted to give others “a piece of our mind” and, in the process, lose our own peace of mind.

Years ago a friend gave me some wonderful advice. She suggested that I visualize Jesus standing between the person and myself, and imagine Him absorbing and redeeming the feelings of anger I had toward that person. It works! Another help, I would picture myself washing the feet of that person, as Christ washed the feet of Judas, His betrayer.